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Bullying a major concern for kids New research out today reveals that while most dads(61%) feel comfortable giving advice to their children about bullying only 1 in5 (17%) children trust their dad’s advice on this topic. However 6 out of 10(59%) children would trust their mum’s advice. Research conducted by Relate for Parents, a websitededicated to helping parents with their family relationships, reveals that bullying is a major concern toover half of children (51%) surveyed, with more boys (59%) worried than girls,and this issue is ranked higher than relationships (20%), drugs (17%) and sex(11%). The survey also reveals that 74% of childrenconsider their mum to be a role model and 58% of children see their dad as arole model. Lin Griffiths, Family Counsellor at Relate forParents, said: “It’s very encouraging that dads feel comfortable talking totheir children about bullying, and children are willing to seek advice. However it is a concern that children don’ttrust the advice they are hearing from their dads. Like most parents, dad’s arebound to feel protective of their children. It is possible that the advice that some dads give - “stand up foryourself”; “tell your teacher”; “I’ll sort him/her out”; “give as good as youget”; although well meaning, could be seen as another pressure on their son ordaughter. Despite this lack of trust, 58% of children still look up to theirfather as a role model.” With children turning to the internet for advice onpersonal issues, less than one in five dads (18%) know if their children areseeking advice online, despite 74% of dads saying that they would rather theirchildren came to them. However, with only half of dads regularly making time totalk to their children, the first step for some fathers may be for them todedicate more time to talking with and listening to their children. To help parents with their family relationships,Relate for Parents has launched the new Relate for Parents website, www.relateforparents.org.uk, which provides online supportand expert help for parents and families. www.relateforparents.org.uk’s top five tips on giving adviceto children: - Listen to your children. Really listen to their problems and individual concerns. You mightknow that it’s part of teenage life to break-up with friends and have fights,but for your child it is a real experience happening to them and they will wantto know you are taking them seriously. - Be consistent in what you say and do. It sounds obvious but say what you mean and meanwhat you say. Children are very good at noticing when you don’t follow throughon your own advice. However that doesn’t mean you have to be perfect. In factit is good for your children to see you admit your mistakes and don’t be afraidto apologise. - Make time. Sitting down and talking to your children shouldn’t just be reservedfor the big things, if they feel they can talk to you easily about the smallthings, this might help when they have big concerns. - Don’t make promises you can’t keep. Children remember broken promises and this issomething that can damage their trust in you. It is better to make no promisesat all than ones you think you might break. - Your children will not love you less if you don’thave answers to all their difficulties. They will feel supported just by the fact that you have listened andunderstood their struggle. Relate for Parents provides support and advice formore than 10,000 parents each month, including step-parents, adoptive parents,aunts, uncles, grandparents and siblings. Free and confidential online support,including live chats and email responses real life stories, videos and podcastsare also available at www.relateforparents.org.uk aswell as the new and unique Family Mapping tool, which helps parents understandtheir situation and how they can make changes for the better. |